Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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