Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
