bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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