We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
