Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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