Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
