if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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