I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
