So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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