Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize