New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
