i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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