What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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