bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
