Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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