you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize