can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
