i permit you to call me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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