just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
