can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
