I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
