Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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