you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
