Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
