so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
