I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
