I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
