community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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