the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
