i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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