After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dude. I can hear the air.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
