ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize