I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
