I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
