you guys were way drunker than both of me
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
