Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
