He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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