I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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