her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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