I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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