It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
