I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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