next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i've created a new STD.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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