guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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