whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
