Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
