U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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