I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
