I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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