Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
