I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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