There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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