My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
