yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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