They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
