why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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