when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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