I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
In America we eat man semen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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