Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
