so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
