So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
The uberlube is also flammable
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
