apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
this just has baby written all over it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Randomize
