who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
